Sophie Stern – Falling for the Billionaire Werewolf Dinosaur (Review, Excerpt, Interview, & Giveaway)

Falling for the Billionaire Werewolf Dinosaur by Sophie Stern

Source: Review by Request
My rating: 4.5 of 5 stars

Tiffany Hall is the newest intern at WE Flower, INC.

Her job in the PR department includes making sure that people get the best possible impression of her company.

Unfortunately, the president of the organization, Duncan Parcell, doesn’t make things easy for her.

He’s always disappearing for days at a time, making weird remarks, and constantly firing his assistants.

But when Tiffany has the opportunity to step up and replace his current assistant, she finds herself strangely attracted to Duncan…secrets and all.

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Nine Naughty Novelists – The Zillionaire Vampire Cowboy’s Secret Werewolf Babies

The Zillionaire Vampire Cowboy’s Secret Werewolf Babies by Nine Naughty Novelists

Multiple Authors:
Juniper Bell
Meg Benjamin
Kate Davies
P.G. Forte
Kinsey Holley
Kelly Jamieson
Skylar Kade
Erin Nicholas
Sydney Somers

Source: Personal Library
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Theirs was a love that nature never intended. Bigger than Texas. Hotter than Hades. Weirder than…a lot of other things you might have read about up until now.

Self-made zillionaire Rock Fangsworthy is your typical Texas cowboy. Well, sort of. Typical in that the only thing this lethally sexy lady-charmer with the hair trigger temper loves more than his horse is his ranch, The Double Fang. Or maybe his boots. Less typical in the fact he’s also a four hundred year old vampire with a shocking secret: he can’t stand the sight of blood.

Buffi Van Pelt is just your average girl-next-door winery owner–or is she? The spunky single mom to twin boys also happens to be a winsome werewolf with secrets and troubles of her own. The winery that the gutsy good-girl recently inherited from her grandmother is on the verge of ruin.

If Buffi can’t find a use for the mysteriously tainted wine before time and her pantry’s limited supply of red meat runs out, she and her pups will be left homeless, destitute and very, very hungry. Worse yet, her baby-daddy is the same hunky, bad-boy vampire rancher who’s out to steal The Best Little Winery in Bloodsuck from under her paws.

Once upon a time their passion flamed hotter’n a summer’s night in Dallas with three Cheerleaders and a side of habanero sauce. Tonight, love’s lightning might just strike them twice–but only if the wine don’t kill them first.

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I’ve heard that laughter is the best medicine… If that’s true, I’m officially as healthy as the horse Rock Fangsworthy rode in on. I laughed constantly & loved every ridiculous moment of this absurd book!

It feels good when a book exceeds your expectations!
This book is written by a collective of authors known as the Nine Naughty Novelists, the authors took turns writing full chapters and I can only imagine how much fun it must have been for them to pass their work around to each other… I’d like to take a moment to share the Warning listed at the front of the book:

Warning: The book you are about to read is a parody. Any resemblance to serious literature is accidental, unintended and should have been excised by the authors prior to this point. Readers who attempt to find a deeper meaning within these pages put themselves at risk of developing Brain Cloud, Brain Fever or, at the very least, serious confusion and existential despair. Read responsibly. Prepare to laugh.

This is like the book equivalent of a cheesy B-Movie. I got the distinct impression that the authors were deliberately attempting to pack every paranormal romance cliché into 116 pages. Mission accomplished! There’s a lot to talk about, so let’s get started.

Rock Fangsworthy
A Zillionaire Vampire with a fear of blood, owner of the Double Fang Ranch

Rock Fangsworthy was a man of action—gruff, manly actions like boldly striding across rooms and menacingly narrowing his slate-blue eyes.

Buffi Van Pelt
A Werewolf, owner of the Best Little Winery in Bloodsuck, and mother of Rock Fangsworthy’s secret twins

When he kissed her like this it set off a firestorm of lust and longing deep inside her. Not an actual firestorm, of course, just something that felt like one without all the messy burning, charring smokiness that would have accompanied the real thing.

Chastity Feelsgood
A human gold-digging idiot who is hoping to take Rock for his Zillions

Chastity closed her eyes and counted to ten, which was about as high as she could reliably go without dollar signs…

Billy Bob Bobson
A wannabe Vampire Hunter hoping to prove himself by taking down Rock

“We belong together. It doesn’t matter to me if you’re as sharp as a cue ball or have slightly uneven boobs or that your master plans are about as useful as a trapdoor on a canoe.”

How awesome are those names, by the way? All of the characters in this book are over-the-top caricatures of the folks we typically meet in Paranormal Romances, and they’re perfectly crafted in their silliness and interactions. The sex in this book was equally lampooned, the authors took the time to carefully spoof the sexytimes we’ve come to love with awkwardness and absurd euphemisms. Speaking of which…


THE ABSURD EUPHEMISMS:

I’m only listing some of the laughable moments, because we would be here all day otherwise…
(For Sex)
his mighty tool plowed her tender furrow,
playing Ride the Fangy Stallion,

(For a Vagina)
passion chamber,
throbbing lady softness,

(For a Penis)
manroot,
icy lovecicle,

Yes, I loved every single stupid moment of this book, and I even gave it FIVE STARS which is rare for me… Read it. Love it. Tell me all about it!

Celia Kyle – He Ain’t Lion

He Ain't Lion (Ridgeville, #1)He Ain’t Lion by Celia Kyle
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Series: Ridgeville #1
Source: Review By Request
ARC Received from Publisher
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Life sucks… And then you get turned into a werelion…

Curvaceous, blonde bombshell Maya Josephs is looking for a little action to take her mind off of her recent break-up. Crazy werecats or not, an evening at Genesis is exactly what she needs. And when she meets the hotter than hot, super-sexy owner, Alex O’Connell, the alpha lion shifter is just the man to fit the bill for a one-night stand.

Dumped like a rotting piece of meat by her ex, Maya is on the prowl, fixin’ to do whatever it takes to get herself a piece of the gorgeous furball. Besides, what’s the harm in a girl having a little bit of fun?

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I read this book as part of the Shifter Romance Boxed Set. This was an unapologetic hilarious read. It was sexy and silly and never took itself seriously. There was rude language, WereLions, tons of sex, and one seriously sassy plus-sized woman.

“You ass-sniffing, butt crack licking, litter box-using fuckhole!”

There was not a lot of romance, though it is technically a paranormal-romance… I’d say it was more of a Sexy Shape-Shifter Comedy. I like it for what it was. If you’re looking for substance and romance… this is probably not for you. But if you need an amusing and unique read for an evening, go pick it up! It was short, and you can buy it was part of a 99¢ Boxed Set with ten other stories, so I say Go for it!

It was a short, fun, erotic read.

***I received and ARC of Shifter Romance Boxed Set in exchange for an honest review***

Shifter Romance Boxed Set

Shifter Romance Boxed SetShifter Romance Boxed Set by Multiple Authors

Source: Review by Request
ARC Provided by Publisher
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Lions and tigers and bears…oh, yeah! This collection of shifter romances is guaranteed to heat up your cool autumn evenings with ten stories (350,000 total words!) of curve-loving werebears, sassy werecats and, of course, everyone’s favorite: alpha werewolves. Pick up this boxed set today and get in touch with your animal side tonight — just 99¢ for a limited time! (Regular Price $9.99!)

Stories from New York Times and USA Today bestselling authors Aubrey Rose, Eliza Gayle, Adriana Hunter, Terry Towers (writing as Elixa Everett), Tawny Taylor , Aphrodite Hunt (writing as Dawn Steele) and Marina Maddix ,as well as #1 Paranormal author Celia Kyle, Top 20 Shifter Romance author Cynthia Brint, and Top 100 Amazon and Barnes and Noble bestselling and award winning author Selena Kitt. 

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For a 99¢ I say go for it… One or two of the books were really enjoyable. However, this collection is clearly quantity over quality. I wouldn’t have finished a few of the books if I weren’t reviewing an ARC of the collection. There were Shifter Bears, Cougars, People, Lions, Rabbits, and Housecats… So there is certainly a lot of variety to choose from.

I started to get the feeling that this was a grab bag of “firsts” as in, the first book in a series and the collection was compiled under the assumption that readers will fall in love with one or more books and continue the series. Unfortunately, I didn’t fall in love with any of them. The collection ranged from Good, to Mediocre, to Downright Awful.

The Good:
He Ain’t Lion (Laugh out loud funny)
Whatever He Needs Her To Be (Original premise)
Wanted By The Alphas (Complex and full of weirdness)
Lucas (Sexy and fast-paced)

The Mediocre:
Laid Bear (Forgettable but not terrible)
BEARed to You(I liked the shifter origin story)
Blind Wolf (main characters were twits)
Until the Flood (Angsty NewAdult / Young Adult)
Cat Lover (Pretty sure that was Furry Erotica…)
Better Mate Than Never(Amusing but formulaic)

The Downright Awful:
Desires of the Wolfman (Just… Skip this one…)

When I review anthologies, I like to write up individual reviews for each of the books and then base my rating on the overall impression of the collection. Especially considering this set features eleven individual authors with distinct styles and writing quality. You can find links to the full reviews for each book below the blurbs I’ve written.


Marina MaddixLaid Bear

Curvy Bethany can’t believe her luck when her devastatingly hot neighbor Max falls for her. But his secret threatens her future…and her life.

It was a quick read, your standard M/F Paranormal shape-shifter romance, but with BEARS. It was nice, but ultimately it was nothing special…
You can find my full review here

 
Tawny TaylorBEARed to You

Curvy city girl Abby is thrilled when a hot, naked man shows up on her cabin’s front doorstep and stokes a blaze or two, in the fireplace and in her body…until he turns into a bear…and the two of them are forced to run for their lives through the untamed Alaskan wilderness.
More BEARS! I really liked the fresh explanation of how Tarik Evert became a WereBear. There were several steamy sex scenes and some lovely pillow talk, but other than that it was kind of a bust…
You can find my full review here


Celia Kyle – He Ain’t Lion

Life sucks… And then you get turned into a werelion… And then have lotsa awesome sex…
This was an unapologetic hilarious read. It was sexy and silly and never took itself seriously. There was rude language, WereLions, tons of sex, and one seriously sassy plus-sized woman.
You can find my full review here


Elixa Everett – Whatever He Needs Her To Be

What would you do to win over the man of your dreams? For shapeshifter Selena, it’s simply a matter of being whatever he needs her to be.
A promising storyline completely ruined by the writing. Disappointing. I really wanted to like this book because the premise was fresh and intriguing, but I wound up completely unsatisfied.
You can find my full review here


Dawn SteeleWanted By The Alphas

New girl in a new town, Shannon, meets two extremely gorgeous and extremely different men who are vying for her attention — but who happen to be a witch and an alpha werewolf at war with each other.
I thought this book was a vast improvement on the previous books in the set, in both plot and prose. We had Witches, Were-Panthers, Drug Cartels, Were-Wolves, Love Triangles, Fights to the Death, a brief trip to the after life for one of the characters, and one of the most baffling endings I’ve ever read.
You can find my full review here


Aubrey RoseBlind Wolf

A blind werewolf leading a pack of stragglers finally finds his one true mate — then realizes she’s human…
This was a sweet little BBW romance between a shy librarian and a blind WereWolf. It was cute, even if it was a little angsty at times. A merry band of misfits.
You can find my full review here

 


Cynthia Brint Until the Flood

Fiona believes the love of her life died years ago, so how will she handle his return…and the fact that he’s no longer human?
This was a rather huge departure form other books in the set because it was heavy in the YA/NA genre while others had been firmly Erotica. The story was cute enough, young love and all that…
You can find my full review here


Julianne ReyerDesires of the Wolfman

A newlywed couple faces their deepest fantasies and fears as they’re thrust from their little rural community into a world of werewolf turmoil and mystery.
I really didn’t like this book. It was actually severall little novellas crammed together, but I was ready to carve my eyeballs out with a spoon by the time it was over.
You can find my full review here

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Selena Kitt – Cat Lover

Sebastian and Katie are having relationship issues when her ex shows up to complicate things, but that’s the least of their worries, because Katie is finally changing–into something not quite human.
Told from the boyfriend’s perspective, this was a twisted tale of watching his girlfriend slowly become possessed by the Egyptian Cat Goddess Bast.
You can find my full review here


Adriana HunterBetter Mate Than Never

Caleb Stone has wanted Paige for as long as he can remember but there’s a reason he’s always kept his distance. Wolves, more specifically, Lycan’s, can’t mate with humans. Worse, he can sense her incredibly intense hunger for him but he knows that he can never give her what she wants, or needs.But when Paige is kidnapped by a powerful enemy Caleb has no choice but to go after her even if it means revealing his true identity…even if means risking it all.
I enjoyed this short story. It was a sweet little “I want you but I can’t have you” story between an Alpha-Male Werewolf and a curvaceous redheaded lawyer.
You can find my full review here


Eliza Gayle – Lucas

An uneasy alliance, a mating call that won’t be denied, rituals that must be honored, and unrelenting enemies who will stop at nothing to get what they want. In the end, there’s really only one choice… for Lucas.
The final book in this boxed set really surprised me when I was becoming fatigued by the Shifter Genre. It had a lot of action, some suspense, and some great dirty talk. Overall, Lucas was a decent “forbidden mates” style of Shifter Romance.
You can find my full review here

***I received an ARC of this collection in exchange for an honest review***

Book Lovers: Sexy Stories from Under the Covers

Book Lovers: Sexy Stories from Under the Covers

Edited by Shawna Kenney
Featuring Multiple Authors
Source: Review by Request
ARC Provided by the Publisher
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Forget poorly written prose and clichéd love scenes: Book Lovers answers the call for sexy literature with substance. This collection of toe-curling tales written by and for word-worshippers offers well-crafted fiction and creative nonfiction that connects literature to libido. From a Vonnegut-inspired tryst to an imaginary ménage à trois with Henry Miller and Anaïs Nin, the book encompasses a veritable buffet of literary fantasies.

Whether they’re conjuring Junot Díaz between the sheets or dreaming of a modern-day enactment of Wuthering Heights—this time refusing Edgar in favor of lusty, bodice-ripping nights with Heathcliff—the stories in Book Lovers are designed for readers’ brains and bodies.

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Seth Grahame-Smith – Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, #1)Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Seth Grahame-Smith

Series: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies #1
Source: Personal Library
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains.”

So begins Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, an expanded edition of the beloved Jane Austen novel featuring all-new scenes of bone-crunching zombie mayhem. As our story opens, a mysterious plague has fallen upon the quiet English village of Meryton—and the dead are returning to life! Feisty heroine Elizabeth Bennet is determined to wipe out the zombie menace, but she’s soon distracted by the arrival of the haughty and arrogant Mr. Darcy. What ensues is a delightful comedy of manners with plenty of civilized sparring between the two young lovers—and even more violent sparring on the blood-soaked battlefield. Can Elizabeth vanquish the spawn of Satan? And overcome the social prejudices of the class-conscious landed gentry? Complete with romance, heartbreak, swordfights, cannibalism, and thousands of rotting corpses, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies transforms a masterpiece of world literature into something you’d actually want to read.

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This is one of a handful of non-erotic books featured on this site, but it is so entertaining, I couldn’t help but post a review!

“IT IS A TRUTH universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains. Never was this truth more plain than during the recent attacks at Netherfield Park, in which a household of eighteen was slaughtered and consumed by a horde of the living dead.”

You should know that my enjoyment of this book was GREATLY enhanced by the fact that I re-read Jane Austin’s Pride and Prejudice before I read this, and I fervently hope you’ll do the same. The reader get’s a much better appreciation of the humor when the original is fresh in their brain…
LOL
Brains… you see what I did there?

To be clear, I’m not much of a Jane Austen fan… I appreciate her iconic work for what it is, but I was in no danger of being offended by reading a parody of her work.

This is a line for line retelling of Pride and Prejudice with Elizabeth and her sisters appearing as highly trained zombie hunters. The whole of the plot remains the same, but it so much more enjoyable with the addition of hoards of flesh-eating undead.

I adored 3/4 Zombie Mrs. Collins. Her character was the best in the book by far.

“What remained of Charlotte would liked to have believed this change the effect of love, and the object of that love her friend Eliza. She watched him whenever they were at Rosings, and whenever he came to Hunsford; but without much success, for her thoughts often wandered to other subjects, such as the warm, succulent sensation of biting into a fresh brain. Mr. Darcy certainly looked at her friend a great deal, but the expression of that look was disputable. It was an earnest, steadfast gaze, but she often doubted whether there were much admiration in it, and sometimes it seemed nothing but absence of mind. And upon imagining Mr. Darcy’s mind, her thoughts would again turn to the subject of chewing on his salty, cauliflower-like brain.”

“In her kind schemes for Elizabeth, she sometimes planned her marrying Colonel Fitzwilliam. He was beyond comparison the most pleasant man; he certainly admired her, and his situation in life was most eligible; but, to counterbalance these advantages, Mr. Darcy had a considerably larger head, and thus, more brains to feast upon.”

I laughed and giggled my way through this book. Well done!

Aimélie Aames – Shame and Delight at His Hands

Shame and Delight at His Hands  (A Reluctant Witch in The Land of BDSM #1)Shame and Delight at His Hands by Aimélie Aames
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Series: A Reluctant Witch in The Land of BDSM #1
Source: Personal Library
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Anna Ixstassou is looking for the fast track to the top. Unfortunately, she found what she was looking for and is back for another session at the hands of her boss, Ewan Crest. The ensuing story is hot and sticky as Anna is inducted into the strange world of BDSM. She loves what she finds there…maybe, too much, in fact.

 

 

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An Erotic Short so ridiculous, I was laughing out loud…

Billionaires,
Witches,
& some absurd group sex…

Since it’s FREE, so I say go for it!